I am truly living the dream here in Vancouver. The career at the faux hippy cafe didn't quite work out due to a conflict of interest, apparently turning up to work in last nights clothes and spending half the day in the bathroom-didn't coincide with the healthy living theme we were there to promote.

So off I went in search of bigger and better things; aka a bar where I would have the freedom to be me! Quickly I discovered that getting a job in a bar in Vancouver was akin to getting work as an actor in Hollywood, although starving actress sounds somewhat more dignified than unemployed bar tender!

I went into one place where a little blonde thing stood applying layer upon layer of lip gloss until I could see my reflection in her mouth. I approached her and said 'Hi I'd like to drop off my resume please' and she replied 'Sorry I'm too busy to take resumes during lunch.' So I looked around at the near empty bar and realised it wasn't even 11am yet. Mole. As I walked back out into the rain I began to consider that if I don't get a job soon I may have to join the guy that sits on the end of my street holding the sign 'help a punk get drunk'-at least we have common interests!

Armed with an abundance of spare time I decided to take a stroll around Stanley Park. An hour an a half later I found myself on the brink of what appeared to be the Twilight forest sans Edward, when an involuntary thought popped into my head 'was I in grizzly territory? and if so was I supposed to play dead or fight back?' It was all too confusing so being the practical girl I am I lit up a cigarette and hoped any predators wouldn't like the passive smoke. As I indulged in all this quality time with myself lost in the bush I decided that if they were to make a movie about my life right now its would be called jobless &dateless in Vancouver-I'd hope Bridget Jones would be the star! Four hours later I somehow found my way safely back with my gays on Davie St.

Just when I thought all hope was lost on the job front my ever-suffering saintly room mate Helen hooked me up with some Craig's list action-she found me the dream job of working in a 24hour bagel shop! My career prospects were higher in the year of '94 when I worked as a checkout chick at Woolies, but like you would say moi, 'beggars can't be choosers.' So I wear my uniform fully equipped with a visor with pride!

Canadians take their bagels seriously, whether it be 'double toasted' what is that anyway it was burnt the first time it went through but righto, or my favorite customer that comes in everyday and asks for the bagel to be sliced into thirds so she only eats 2/3 because shes watching her weight-babe just eat a sandwich! sometimes I like to fuck with them and only toast it once and see who notices-its fantastic when they do and they come back after eating the whole thing and demand a new one free of charge. The place is a hot spot for the neurotic and the cray cray with the only solace being that I get reliable hours, and unlimited bagels-although after two weeks I found myself craving bread.

We'll see how I go, my manager told me she thought it quite uncommon for someone to get food poisoning twice in one week- I'm definitely not in Sydney anymore!